Mrs. Trenton appeared before the judge in a divorce action.

"How old are you?" asked the judge.

"Thirty-five," said Mrs. Trenton.

The judge noticed her greying hair and wrinkled cheeks and said "may I see your birth certificate?"

She handed the judge her birth certificate.

"Madam," he said severely, "according to this certificate you are not 35 but 50."

"Your honor," replied Mrs. Trenton, "I'm not counting the last 15 years I spent with my husband. You call that a life?"

After 25 years of marriage, a husband said he wanted a divorce. His wife was stunned. "But Sam," she pleaded, "how could you want to divorce me after all we've been through together? Remember how just after we met, you caught malaria and nearly died, but I looked after you. Then when your family was wiped out in a hurricane, I was there for you. then when you were falsely accursed of armed robbery, I stood by you. Then when you lost $50,000 on the horses, I sympathized. And when that fire destroyed your office, I comforted you. How could you leave me? We've been through so much."

"That's the problem, Linda. Face it, you're just bad luck."

A woman went to an attorney to ask about a divorce.

"What grounds do you have, ma'm?"

"About six acres."

"No, I don't think you quite understand. Let me rephrase the question. do you have a grudge?"

"No, just a parking space."

"I'll try again. does your husband beat you?"

"No, I always get up at least an hour before he does."

The attorney could see he was fighting a losing battle. "Madam, are you sure you want a divorce?"

"I'm not the one who wants a divorce," she said. "My husband does. He claims we don't communicate."

This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit.

"I've got grounds, all right," sputtered the irate husband. "Can you believe my wife told me I'm a lousy lover?"

"That's why you're suing?" pursued his lawyer.

"Of course not. I'm suing because she knows the difference."

A young woman is divorced after only a few years of marriage, and it is not long before her friends begin to ask her if she is thinking of marrying again.

Right now, no," the young woman answers "I've hardly begun to enjoy using the remote control."